Perceptions and Health

Perspective and Perception

Many ways to perceive

The world as we see it is not what we think it is. We have been taught to see a certain way, often limiting our ability to see what is actually happening. We can call this “conditioning,” or “programming.”

Changing the way we think…

…Means changing the way we create our lives…

Our bodies produce feelings and emotions based on what we think and how we think. Then our thoughts often reflect the emotional state or feeling, resulting in a constant dance between reactions. For example, we see a cat catching a bird and think, “how horrible.” Then our body produces a feeling we label as “horrible.” We may feel repulsed or angry, but is this really horrible? Who are we to judge what life is doing?

By judging ourselves and others and life, we create unnecessary tension within ourselves. By looking at the negatives in our lives, like how sick we may feel or how little money we have, we set up a feedback loop of suffering.

We are always creating. We cannot not create. The old healing traditions point to this, and I have seen through my practice that this is so. We create by how we think, what we say, how we say it, and through our actions. With thinking, we also create an emotional reaction, which creates more thoughts, as our mind perceives the feeling of the emotion. It can be a viscous cycle. (this can be either a blissful cycle or a viscous cycle depending on where our attention is fixated).

Try this:

Decide to choose to feel a little better by focusing your attention on the things that are working in your health.

Use this checklist as a guide if need be.

Sleep – find something to look forward to as you wake up. Focus on really feeling how good it will feel to have what you have looked forward to. Something that feels opening, expanding and bright. And as the duller, or more unpleasant sensations arise, the ones we tend to push away, they get to be seen from a new perspective. We start to find ourselves sleeping more soundly, and waking more satisfied. But start with achievable, yet challenging goals. I will often see myself feeling open, enthusiastic, and curious about a person I have a meeting with, or a client. After years of practicing this, I can honestly say that my interactions with others is much more satisfying. Life begins to conspire with us as we allow ourselves to be pulled into it. I like to find and move with a feeling of going downstream. Try it out.

Another effective method is a body scan.

Feel each part of your body, do not try and change anything, just let it be. Send love to each body part in support for how it feels. I like to feel the weight of my body on the floor, or on the chair, and breathe in love and support, and exhale tension. See each part full of life and energy.

Start with your toes on the left foot, go to the foot, then the ankle, then the lower leg, then knee, then upper leg, then do the right leg and foot. Now do the left glut, right glut, pelvis, sex organs, low back, mid-back, upper back, then lower belly, upper belly, diaphragm, chest, sternum. Now do the left arm, starting with each finger, then hand, then wrist, then forearm, then elbow, then upper arm. Now the right arm. Now do the neck and throat, back of head, face with each sensory organ, like mouth, nose, ears, eyes, and forehead. Finish with the scalp.

Movement/exercise/creative expression – try shaking out any tension, shake for the fun of it, see the tension going out of yourself!

Try out this link, do one of these exercises

http://healthalkemy.com/health-news/esoteric-health-techniques/

Scroll down to the bottom and choose Energization, 5 Tibetans, or The Peaceful Warrior Workout

A Shining Example of how perception affects us is just below. (this was taken from an email with no credits given in that email)

Carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? How is your perspective? Does it feel good inside?

Dude, Who Was Driving the Car?

I was a sucker for a good time.  I was a young man at the age of 20, it was dawn, and I was preparing for my tenth southern California surf trip.  The intense anticipation always magnified the experience.  My best friend Chris and I were heading out for 10 days from Santa Cruz, in Northern California, driving south for hours, deep into Baja and then back up through Southern California on the way home to get more good waves.

           

Thirty minutes into the drive, we reached highway 101 and decided to put on some loud music and talk.  This was quite an accomplishment.  My capacity to drive while hearing multitudes of musical sounds, nature rhythms, open window winds, and Chris’s voice while keeping track of the conversation still shocks me.  We agreed to turn on Bob Marley as we headed south into the rising sun and cute little wispy clouds.

           

The music combined with the spectacular sunrise put me in a very expanded and sublime state.  I do not know how much time passed because only the music existed.  But soon Chris and I were talking about our fantasies for waves and for the trip.  With wonderful images and fuzzy feelings arising, I asked Chris about where he wanted to surf first.  He mentioned a very crowded and perfectly set up rocky point south of Santa Barbara.  Immediately I felt warm and open feelings about that scenario.  It was April and thus late for the big winter swells that would make this location fun.  However, there was a rare west swell reported, which would hit all parts of the coast equally.  Chris and I seemed to be there together in our mind’s eye.  My awareness swam in images of surfing head-high point waves under an April sun.  This was clearly Dolphin-type fun!

I changed the music to better suit the watery mood.  Neither of us was talking now.  There was a sense of climbing through a deep, dark tunnel warmed by an inviting fire and filled with comfortable matting on the floor of animal furs and rugs.

Story after lucid story arose in my mind.  I found myself totally in this world of dreams.  Occasionally, what felt like an immense awareness would peek out thru me while still driving the car.  At this point in my life, I had learned to create rapturous states through yoga techniques and breathing.  I had done an intense session of yoga, strengthening, and breath work that morning at 5 a.m. which is much earlier that I normally wake.  This produced a satisfied tiredness that had spread into the sunrise drive.

Images of swimming in warmer water arose then delicate feelings of falling and then of coming into my body.  The sensations were just subtle enough that my attention still wandered in the lucid dream awareness.  I was enjoying full body feelings of flying like a hawk while being enclosed within a box on wheels.

 One of my Native American teachers used to refer to modern inventions in symbolic terms.  Some simple phrases used were “metal birds,” for airplanes; “iron horse,” for trains.  I came up with one of my own shortly before this trip while looking out of 10^th story window in a skyscraper.  As I looked down upon the traffic, it looked as if people were like ants, scurrying about.  But what really struck me was how the long line of cars, moving and stopping, seemed like a river from top view.  I called the busy street a “river of steel.”  It was a pleasant synopsis of what I was experiencing.

Suddenly, we were at a mountaintop and back to our familiar reality.  I felt like I had jumped from one dream to another.  We were back in the car and had reached the summit of the coastal ridge north of San Luis Obispo, about two and half hours from L.A., and an equal distance from our starting point. 

A strange feeling of an “immensity” seemed to be looking through “my” eyes.  It was very warm, yet demanded no attention.  It sorta hung there.  A sense of satisfaction arose while I saw vistas of the ridgeline.  These were very jagged vertical granite rocks with sparse soil and irregular oak groves scattered about in the deep gorges.

            The expanded state slowly ended.  I found my old sense of self back, alternating with ethereal states.  A familiar sensation accompanied by a heavy dragging feeling in my chest.  Maybe some part of me was resisting.

 A familiar voice asked, “Coming back?” and then, “Craig, where are we?”  The night before I had pushed Chris into staying the night and we had done the morning exercises together.  I guess that partially accounted for why he was off somewhere too for who knows how long.  A sense of heaviness arose immediately and then a humorous thought. 

“We’re in San Luis Obispo,” I replied while chuckling to myself about my next question to him. 

“Hey Chris, who was driving the car the last two hours?”  He looked at me quizzically, but then a common knowing was shared.  A look was all it took.  We laughed belly rocking laughter until the ocean appeared.

Living on the edge had always been a part of my life.  I tried to remember having any awareness of the road the last two hours.  There were huge gaps in memories of places, observations and sensations but there was no stress or tension.  Just humor.

I realized we had been in “satori”, or total surrender into the flow of life.  It seemed like a pleasurable trance.  I could have been seriously hurt by not “paying attention,” yet this doubting mind doubted after the fact.  Could it have been that I simply did not remember driving and paying attention?

What is memory?  It seems as if awareness itself possesses infinite abilities to split itself.  I wondered if the location I designated as “I” was simply a collection of programs, memories, and conditioned responses.  Memories seemed like snapshots, projected on the mind’s inner screen.  But what sees those images?  The question had haunted me as long as I have had memory.

            This was only one example of how the answer to my inquiry manifested.  Who or what was driving the car?  While “I” drifted off some force was definitely taking control of our fate.  Whomever was driving the car was the same entity, or force, also seeing the images of memory in the mind’s eye.  They were only different perspectives, arising from the same source.

The “Dude” who was driving the car, wasn’t a dude at all.  It was (and is) the birthplace for “Dudes,” and the final resting place.

Tao Te Ching

Chapter 42 (excerpt relevant to this story) (parenthesis my addition)

The Tao (or The Infinite Mystery) gives birth to the One,

The One gives birth to Two (duality – light and dark, etc…)

Two gives birth to three (more forces we can feel/experience)(or The Son of God, The Son of Man, and Holy Ghost)

Three gives birth to the Ten Thousand Things (all manifest things)

(If you get this, like can feel into it, not understanding in the mind, then you are already on your way in a magical journey)

Temporal Parasites

The Inner Mysteries: Contradiction, Paradox, Humor, and Divinity.

“Temporal Parasites”

As a prelude to my exposé on what I call “temporal parasites,” I have a confession to make; for most of my adult life, Star Trek, (the many versions on television), has been a consistent curiosity for me. I give due credit to the creators of that program for the root and basis of what I am about to explain.

Thought forms:

In the numerous and varied healing systems I have studied, there are many common themes. The connection between the world of thought, emotion, awareness, and physicality is one of them. My life’s passion has been to discover and “master” those connections and then act as a guide for others.

An initial insight I had was that thoughts were like clouds; one could see them arising, watch them passing and witness them fading. I began to experience thoughts as forms- forms that are less dense than the world we’re use to and constantly in flux.

Based on this premise, I began to ask myself, “wouldn’t it be a serious error to identify one’s self with those thoughts?” I used to chide myself about my "evil" fantasies and urges, but after years of seeing for myself the fluctuating clouds of thoughts, I knew those thoughts were no more “me” than the house next door. But herein was the catch: thought forms can have an existence of their own.

They want to live and continue as they are. We tend to get snagged on emotions, urges, fantasies, and worse, identification, so the thoughts can remain. I noticed that this identification always drains us in some subtle and not so-subtle ways. This was a lesson I learned many years into my commitment to self-study.

Viruses and other microbes:

I love the new-age scientific names for simple things. The emerging field of psycho-neuro-immunology is case in point. The term refers to the connections between thought, feeling, and the physical. One of its premises is that when we drain one system, the rest suffers. For example, if we constantly berate ourselves and judge ourselves too harshly, we feel drained physically. When we drain ourselves physically, the stage is set for opportunistic microbes. These microbes do not like a healthy strong system.

The plant kingdom demonstrates this tenet of psycho-neuro-immunology repeatedly: A plant that has healthy soil and seeds, good sun and water, is very rarely diseased. But as every gardener knows, throw off one of those factors, and the organism will begin a decomposition process. It is nature’s way. To survive, the system must digest the waste, the old and the decaying.

That is one of the jobs of fungi: they digest decaying matter.

This may also be true of viruses. If our body can recognize them, it mounts a tagging campaign for destruction. A weak system cannot complete the job and thus these invading life forms get a foothold. Likewise, is another life form that gets a cemented foothold in consciousness; the ego.

I heard on an audio book by Eckhart Tolle, (A New Earth), that there is an aspect of ego that can be likened to a "psychic parasite." I wondered at the time if these "leaky faucets" of energy I had experienced so many times over the years were due to this "parasite" feeding on fear or other unpreferred feeling?

On the physical level, the definition of a parasite is, “ anything that feeds on its host." Parasites cannot survive, and some cannot replicate, without a host cell or tissue. That means Candida, other fungi, viruses, and other microbes can become parasitic given a weak host, including the worm ones we’re all familiar with. Could it be that the ego, or any self-impairing thought form, is an entity that feeds on a host? What might that host be? I pondered this long and hard, for many years.

Insight came one evening in a flash. It was “Awareness”. That simple. Of course, when we put a word to something wordless, we diminish it, but this was the closest word in the English language.

Awareness is like a pure white light shining through the filter of what one calls, "me." The ego is not evil, nor a problem yet we do experience internal conflicts when the ego rides on the light of awareness and creates stories around it. It is usually a simple misunderstanding of the nature of awareness, consciousness, and the ego. The ego latches on like a parasite to an aspect of awareness and feeds off of it, in a sense. An aspect of what we call consciousness looks at that situation and inquires into its nature. Consciousness is naturally curious. Watch a young child who has not been conditioned yet. He/she is naturally curious about EVERYTHING. Right?

Along these lines, a few years earlier, I had an insight about digestion of experiences. I was reading about the connection between emotional states, acupuncture meridians, and the connection with the Five Elements in that system. I was reminded that Earth is the element of digestion and harvest. Distilled into its essence, it stands as the completion of a cycle. If our own process does not proceed smoothly, we get indigestion. This is what happens inadvertently, in most of us, on the subtle levels.

To aid us in “un-constipating” our energy systems, an advisor is often necessary. While many of us may scoff at the "gurus" and spiritual practices of India, having guidance on one’s journey can be very helpful.

When we have chronic emotional indigestion, we get stuck and cannot finish the cycle, so to speak. This also weakens our natural defenses against disease, affecting us on the subtle levels first. We all know what “dis-ease” feels like.

Many years ago I read a few lines in a course manual from East -West Herbal Course that read: "Toxins are desires." I sensed how profound those three words were, and spent years pondering and investigating.

The strongest insight came as I was writing a 30-page chapter on digestive ecology. I was intensively studying the inner ecology of the gut when the old quote suddenly made complete sense. "Of course”, I said to myself, “when we are toxic, this is from layers of mucus and fermenting waste feeding really nasty microbes in the gut." These microbes, like Candida, can become overgrown in the gut wall and can cause cravings of their own. When they aren’t fed, they may get unhappy and excrete toxic substances that further irritate the gut wall. They desire something: i.e. more carbohydrates, more sugar.

At the time of this realization I was a sugar junky, or should I say, they were the junkies and I was a co-dependent “victim?” To parallel this on a larger level, I was a victim of identifying with the stories about my life.

The pure light of awareness must separate into its prism: the world. But to identify with the manifestations of the world, resist them, or get attached to them (like a parasite) can invite trouble. The trouble is that thought-forms, spirits, and other unknowns are part of this “prism.” How do we distinguish what is real?

We become our own worst enemy.

We all have had times in life where we could not believe what we had just done. Could it be that we have become “possessed” on some subtle level? Possessed by our own delusions? Identified with our own conditioning and programming, given to us at an age so young we could not choose it. It was forced upon us, albeit, with good intentions. When conditioning operates unconsciously in us, we tend to do unskillful things.

After years of investigating the subtle aspects to consciousness, and becoming extremely still, complete surrendering, I began to see life is already free. And many, many breadcrumbs are left by those who also saw these things. Men like Jesus the Christ, Buddha, and too many to mention. The evidence became overwhelming, the more I looked. And knowing so many saw this, brought great peace.

Conversely, when we feel unease, we have the beginning warning signals. Something is off. Our bodies are wonderful meters of when we are flowing with life, or “missing the mark” (sin really means this).

Many of us are so identified with our minds that we fail to trust our body, our being, and we lose a valuable tool. We no longer navigate within the flow of our lives. However, “resistance is futile.”

Like I said earlier, all life struggles to maintain itself. Why shouldn’t the ego, the illusion of separation also struggle to maintain itself? If the ego lets go, it seems to lose its job as guardian and protector. What exactly is it protecting anyway? Once this is seen through, identification ceases and more energy is freed up. The host no longer supports the parasite, the mistaken identification with this world. This is not philosophy. This is go-see-for-yourself stuff. Reality.

The Body Revisited

Viral growth can manifest so many different ways, they’re hard to pinpoint. Some call them “ghosts” as they have no life outside of another cells DNA. I find it interesting to call them ghosts.

Perhaps our own habitual ways of operating and thinking are actually draining us? I found the only way out of the trap of identification with form, any form, was to let it all be. Anything that arose for me was ok and still is. And many many tests of sorts came.

Through years of purging and continuing on the endless road of higher health, I have seen these strange connections between the subtle worlds and the physical. Some say the reptiles are a physical manifestation of astral beings from Sirius, I believe, that they are here, observing and participating. But not in ways most people think. I had a suprising initiation experience with one such being…….

Reptiles and Gateway Guardians

Road-signs of Life: The Snake Test

3/20/96

Age 31

Highway rest stop – near Redding CA

I was tested. I have just returned from a Field of cottonwood trees, meditating in Savasana, after a short yoga practice. I loved to use the Dan Millman video about Peaceful Warrior. The feeling of "Peaceful Warrior" really rang true in my chest. But that is not the story I am here to tell.

I had been driving for a few hours, south on route 5 from Eugene, Oregon. I had just completed a winter’s sabbatical, writing a cookbook based on my Macrobiotic studies. The sabbatical was necessary, as I had come close to having a "nervous breakdown." The previous year had seen the loss of a fiancé, opening of a restaurant,

and finishing a B.S. degree in Nutrition. In addition, I was preparing my own meals, working 30 hours a week to support myself, and continuing a daily yoga/meditation practice. I almost exploded from the pressure.

However, after the four-month break, I felt recharged and ready to begin the next chapter of my life.

As I often did on long drives, I stopped every few hours to stretch my body and rest my mind in meditation. When I drove too long, I would notice white trailers in my field of vision, trance drowsiness, and achy muscles. I had driven through the mountains, and spotted this beautiful rest stop. The rest stop itself was too busy, with car noises, kids playing, and nowhere to practice yoga without making a scene.

I scanned the area, and noticed a short fence with an unknown area behind it that looked uninhabited. I liked the mystery of the situation. I grabbed my yoga mat, a blanket for the ground, a towel, and hopped the fence. As I walked, following a mindless pull, like a magnet, to a spot that felt "nurturing." Sounds of birds soothed my ears and nerves. I walked in the spring grasses, and up a little hill. As I reached the top, a luscious pond glistened below, with a calm, serene energy. The cottonwood trees spoke of changing times and sharing the afternoon sun.

I walked down the grassy hill, and found a dirt area where I laid down my mat and blanket and did a short yoga practice. As I finished, the sense of well being was profound. The highway sounds were gone, with only the wind, trees and birdsong as company, or so I thought.

I lay down on my back, and began to relax in savasana, otherwise known as corpse pose. I felt my body being pulled by gravity. The heaviness was a nice contrast to the airy thoughts of driving. I immediately went into a deep daydream/trance state. I was tired. I told myself to rest as long as my body needed. The dreams were pleasant and distracting.

Suddenly, a strange sound appeared in my awareness. Time was an unknown. I was still half-dreaming, and it manifested in my dream pictures as an Indian rattling a shaker. The rattling sound got louder. Something in me sounded an alarm. I felt danger and awoke. The sound was definitely a rattle. I knew the sound, but could not place it specifically. I inquired and did not like the answer I received. I knew it was a rattlesnake. I did not have to look. It was close, and the rattle was getting louder next to the top of my head.

I must have perked some curiosity in the creature or invaded its territory. I gingerly began to turn to get up into a phoenix like position on my belly, supported by my lower arms. I was frightened to see this danger, but I sensed if I did not, even greater danger would result.

My head turned and I saw the beast, only three feet from the top of my blanket. I was easily within striking distance and it was upright, coiled, and looking right at me, flicking its tongue. It was the first rattlesnake I had encountered in the wild. I felt a surge of fear, and a strong desire to get up and run. But I knew I could not move: it had me.

I began to receive "instructions" on how to act from this point. I was not thinking, only feeling intuitions from my "spirit guides." I was told to ground my energy into the earth. I honored the snake for appearing. I suddenly knew I was brought here to face this fear, the fear of being vulnerable and hopeless. Another insight arose that the snake did not necessarily mean me any harm but rather it was a conduit of reptilian energy or spirit.

I inquired as to why it had appeared as we continued eye contact. Waves of fear arose and fell like static noise, disrupting the inquiry. A brief window of silence allowed an answer to appear. "You are being tested. Reptiles guard a gate to another realm. Are you ready to move through?" I felt I was. I noticed the snake appeared less agitated with my feeling based answer. I kept opening and accepting my plight. My body was in a very vulnerable position. I had gone against rational judgment into this field and near this lake. I was on private property. Yet, an impulse had led me to this "power spot." I refused to doubt that force.

I was "told" to sit still and just meditate with the snake. So we faced off and neither of us moved for many minutes. We stared deeply into each other’s eyes. I felt a merging, an opening, and the dissolving of boundaries. Finally, the snake appeared solid again. An inner signal of, "you passed the test" came into my consciousness and then the snake gracefully and slowly turned and undulated away towards some sagebrush on the hill.

I do not know what all transpired, but it was to be one of many initiations into my becoming a healer. I realized at the time that these rites of passage, challenges, or “tests” into adulthood were sorely missing from our modern educational systems.

I walked mindfully back to my car, back to the safe and convenience of the modern world, yet something never left me after that day. It kept unfolding, slowly like a steamroller, crushing all in its path. All my illusions were beginning to be challenged.

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Spirit’s Curiosity With Form:

The path of the mystic is a loaded gun. The farther in one seems to go, the more risk of identification and suffering and the higher the highs, the lower the lows. Emotions and feelings once thought of as harmless can become toxic and draining as one seemingly proceeds on a path of evolution. I wrote a journal entry speaking to this, many years ago, from an inkling I had while sitting quietly.

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Coming Home (another entry)

Lately I have realized the journey (or depth) into the labyrinth we call "the world" is not as easy as I thought. All my life, I have tried to remain present in the face of suffering (myself and others). I learned through my studies of Spanish that the word for “gift” is “regalo” (similar to regal). In English we also use the word “present” to mean gift. To be present is to give a gift to oneself or those we are present with.

When I was a child, I would look into the eyes of someone who was suffering and I would feel what they felt. I would become lost in their dream then avert further gaze, contract and turn inward and then return home to my own presence. It felt like a failure. It felt like I was a leaf blowing in the wind, swirling, out of control, lost in other’s separation and lost in my feelings about it.

At the time I was far from seeing that they are versions of myself, mirroring my own suffering, my own anger, sadness, depression, or fear. I now notice when this happens that my feet are not grounded, my awareness is in my head, and my breathing shallow and fast. The mantra for me now is, "where are my feet, and how does my chest, belly, and heart feel? Am I open to what is occurring?"

I have used an analogy called "coming home." I venture out into the world, into identification with the illusion, and then return to oneness, to me, to the Self.

I have discovered the ego wants everything quickly. It wants the fruit of the journey. However, the spirit enjoys the experience…the journey. Indeed they partner up quite frequently, but not always.

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I more often than not feel the unconditional love of spirit for all things, like a mother’s love for her children. What feels better than a hug from Mom when we are down?

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Fasting, Cleansing and Will:

Methods have been handed down from those who have walked this planet (and maybe others?). One teacher calls them “breadcrumbs.” A trail of breadcrumbs to lead us home on a long journey through life. But exactly what is home? And what are these thought forms that seem to trip us up? They are even depicted on Tibetan scrolls, some very wrathful and ugly. Some beautific.

Investigation is something I feel is missing in today’s world. Investigating what others tell us, or what we read. That is exactly what the great yogic and spiritual teachings are: pointers to something subtle. The words are meaningless. Our experience of what they are pointing to is much different than thinking about them. When we are thirsty only water will do, not a thought about it, or a picture, right?

I read about the ascetic practices of the yogis: fasting, breathing techniques, focused meditations, concentration, postures held through various mental complaints, etc. I also investigated what the great health masters have called cleansing and fasting. It takes will power to overcome our conditioned patterns. I ask, “What better and safer thing is there to do than to challenge our mind, our bodies, and our limitations? How will we ever know our limits if we do not push ourselves to them”?

Yogananda, a great Hindu sage, liked to say, “the greater the will, the greater the flow of energy.” And I have found this to be a sound pointer. There is a deep satisfaction (Santosha in Sanskrit) by overcoming our limitations by pushing ourselves and succeeding. But what is feeling the satisfaction? Who is this “I” we call ourselves?

Perhaps it is the ego’s job to be a navigator for consciousness? The Big “I.”

Possession and Degrees of Separation:

I used to feel separate, even in large crowds, or even with people close to me. I often felt like an iceberg, cold and detached. One day, I saw what this was, quite by accident.

I was walking to class in a large outdoor grass area at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. It was one of those spring days where everything seems alive. Even the air seemed to be singing in praise of the sun and perfect temperatures. It was a time in my life when I felt separated from most people. Yet, in sitting quietly (meditation) daily, I had begun to see that thoughts, feelings, and even emotions came and went, like clouds in the sky. So these feelings of separation from others were not controlling my world.

As I looked up into the sky, on an impulse, a strong feeling arose of being “watched.” I looked down, into the smooth face of a female passerby. She smiled and looked right into my eyes. Like she was seeing something. I walked past her, and it happened again with three other people. I was not trying to attract attention. As a matter of fact, I was painfully shy at the time. A little wind blew, and a strange voice resonated in my brain. It seemed to say, “He sees, but does not understand.” That feeling of being watched came again, but this time from inside my eyes, almost behind my eyes. It felt as if the whole universe was looking out through my eyes.

This felt healthy. It felt euphoric. Love was present in it. But it only lasted a few hours, then back to what my teacher calls “garden variety” consciousness.

I was later to learn that addictions to sublime states and the fervent seeking of expanded states of consciousness can be a trap; a trap of always seeking something outside of this moment, the true reality.

The opposite of the identification of the universal consciousness would be the identification with a form. These are limited and often parasitic life forms of all sorts. This is true only if we give it the power. We must voluntarily give it out.

This is where the ego thrives. The ego is really just a verb. It is an aspect of ourselves that is always in action. Have you noticed? It thinks, it moves, it strategizes, it solves problems, and it knows which mouth to feed when there is hunger. Wouldn’t it be funny if you got thirsty, and gave water to your best friend, mistakenly thinking he/she was the one needing it when you actually were? That would be a defect in the ego, and it happens.

Mistaken identity:

The most challenging aspect of this as a teacher in health would be encountering a person who is “possessed.” This is somewhat rare in its worst. But degrees of it show up in a lot of us. We are so identified with the tool, the ego, that we lose track of what is running the show, consciousness (or awareness, or spirit). The Gospels talk of The Son of God and The Son of Man. And to round out the Holy Trinity, we have The Holy Ghost. What were these old saints, mystics, and sages pointing to? Are these more “breadcrumbs” left from the ancient past? If they are indeed leading us, what are they leading to? Is there a connection with ego and viruses?

Very few are possessed like we see in the movies (like the evil Damien possessed by the “devil”). An old Hindu sage, Yogananda, liked to say, “People are so skilled in their illusions.” Our inner processes know how we work better than our conscious mind at times. We can become “possessed” by urges, fantasies, impulses and act on them if we lose our connection to what is true. And Eckhart Tolle states in A New Earth, that some crimes might be dismissed or forgiven if the person acts from a place of being possessed. How to prove?

I feel we all have to take responsibility for our actions, even if we felt we were “not ourselves” during the act. We still made the choice on some level to act or not act. From where is this choice made?

Ultimately, what the ego wants is to be happy and do good. But all the fog must be cleared away somehow. And the ego can help or hinder the process. Most egos are “leaving claw marks on the ground while being dragged into the infinite.” Just as a caterpillar changes into a butterfly, so we evolve into something we do not quite understand. Do we all share a common thread as human beings in this?

We all share common stories, thinking we are the only ones busy, suffering, or whatever story we believe. The truth is, as I have seen through thousands of clients and spiritual gatherings, we all must walk right through our pain, our broken hearts, and our stories about life. Part of us leaves this world when we suffer. Some of us use substances to disassociate from the pain. We try and resist, mistakenly thinking that resistance is going to get us to joy. There is a great Buddhist aphorism, “We come to Nirvana by way of samsara.” We come to joy and satisfaction by going right into our pain, not around, not bypassed.

Perhaps this is the great secret about all this. Life is already and always whole. Health is relative. Everything has a place, or it would not exist, right? That is the great mystery, from where did we come before brith, and where do we go after death? This knowing is available, viruses know it, and Life knows it, and we do too. We just forget. And we get faulty programming.

“May the force be with you.” (Star Wars movie) Perhaps exploring things like this bring greater satisfaction than putting our chips in accumulation and “getting ahead” according to what those in control tell us.

Perhaps things are not what they seem. I have found that sticking with what I know to be true is a skillful practice. There are many things I know for sure.

The body is a vehicle of some sort is one of those knowings. The only real solution is to keep it in as good a shape as we can, and don’t sweat the stuff we cannot control, like whether or not viruses are out to get us. The worry about what might happen drains us more than just letting go.

Some tools:

I have found some tools handed down for thousands of years to be helpful with maintaining our vehicle and seeing life more clearly. The purpose of the many paths of yoga is just this. One could argue that the purpose of meditation, breathing exercises, and eating more wholesomely is this.

For clarity:

*Eat only vegetables (especially raw) during warm weather for an entire day. If you feel weak, then add some raw egg yolk blended into some water or put on your veggies as part of a simple dressing. That might be 2 egg yolks, 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar, 2 tbsp hemp seed or flax oil, ¼ tsp Celtic sea salt, and a little Italian seasoning. One could also use whey protein or ground flax meal 2 tbsp put on your veggies.

*Dry skin brush your entire body in the morning upon waking

*Do the Breath of Fire technique

*Do some stretching every day, even if only five minutes before bed or in the morning. Commit to this.

*Try this link for Energizing exercises with conscious breathing

For more concentration:

*Begin by using an object to focus on for short periods of time. I began by observing a candle flame for five minutes, then increasing the time. The mind always wanders so the method is to keep bringing it back to the object of focus, gently, like a child, no scolding ourselves allowed!

*As one improves in this, stay mindful of how your body moves throughout the day. Keep your mind in your body, in your senses, as you do exercise, work, garden or do yoga. Notice how the mind wanders. Bring it back gently.

*As this improves, ask for help in staying in your senses throughout your day, pick time periods to “check-in” with your breathing, your body.

Nutrition help:

Certain herbs are very good in this process. Gotu kola is excellent. Rosemary, ginkgo, calamus root, eggs, cardamom seeds, low simple sugar diets, no caffeine, and simple smaller meals go a long ways to supporting our consciousness and its link into the mind.

I hope this essay helps those who really sincerely want to “wake from the dream” of separation. Health can support or take away from our lives. Parasites only feed on a weak host and weak cells/tissues. This holds true for the ego and all subtle beings that live beyond most people’s perception. But they exist nevertheless. Ask for help, and it will come. “Ask and you shall receive.” But be ready to be surprised by what shows up!

Immune cells have a common root with many other cells in the body

In loving service,

Craig Lane

The Point of Yoga - Why Do It?

Balance and poise in posture and life!

Why am I doing this?  What is the point of Yoga?

 Many years ago I had a dear friend who would challenge my use of words and how I behaved.  He encouraged me to think of things I took for granted; like choosing vegetables from the store.  One spring day, while choosing a wonderfully voluptuous and furry peach, he asked very dramatically, “Are you choosing the peach or is the peach choosing you?”  This story is dedicated to him, Edward Bruehl.

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              I had broken my neck in a car accident and the doctors declared I should have died.  Yet, there I was, five months later, taking my first yoga class.  I don’t know why I chose yoga.  The recommended rehab from the broken neck was unacceptable.  Pain killers and symptom management was not for me.  But when I began researching yoga and the ways it can help one’s health, my instincts simply felt drawn to it.  Perhaps my accident had opened a door for me.  I now had access to a place called surrender. Thus, I was, “letting the yoga choose me?”

              The funny thing about this first class was my choice beforehand.  Since the class was at 9AM, I ate breakfast an hour earlier.  Mistake.  It turns out the recommendation was to not eat 2-3 hours before yoga.  How could I have known?  I felt embarrassed at my sweat, my straining, and my total lack of flexibility.  My mind was constantly comparing.  “Oh, look at that girl twisting into that position.  I can never do that.”  The girl was doing a pose called Triangle.  As I tried the position, my breath got very tight, my chest felt tense, my breathing very shallow, and my eyes must have been bugging out of my head.  The teacher, Mrs. Glassmeyer, strolled over to me, quizzically, and in a concerned voice she asked, “What is your name?”  Red faced with exertion I managed to sputter out “Craig”.  Mrs. Glassmeyer then taught me that yoga for her is simply stretching and breathing.  She told me not to make it too complicated.  I decided it was easy for her to say.

              Then I shared with her my concerns about the neck and wondered what she thought.  She again looked concerned, and then a warm knowing look came over her face.  “You will be fine as long as you take it easy.  Watch your breath, make it a focus for your mind.  Remember, breathe deep and long, and relax.”

             To be honest, it took almost two or three years before I felt one-hundred-percent again from the broken neck.  My first breakthrough was the commitment to do yoga daily, no matter what.  The disclaimer, however, was that five minutes a day would count, but that was the minimum.   I was challenged by a Dan Millman videotape called “The Peaceful Warrior Workout” to do 30 days with that commitment.  He said one would not fall off the path by that momentum builder.  He was right.

          My first and involuntary “breakthrough” came a few months later.  I was practicing alternate nostril breathing, really just messing around, when I felt an intense focus into what I was doing, then, another reality presented itself.

          The feeling was of coming home from a long journey.  I felt totally embraced, totally full of a love so profound it crushed any doubt that there was a “higher power.”  I had been agnostic and very “show me the proof” kind of guy.  The proof came in a form unexpected- so different from all the things "good" about God I had been told about as a kid.  What I experienced was not the demanding, totalitarian, and spiteful god of the Old Testament.  No, it was like I was this Love; a Love shared with something I could not understand or pinpoint.  I knew yoga was the catalyst for this experience.

          Of course, the insight faded, and I chased the experience for another two years.  I was a “mad” spiritual scientist, trying to reproduce the experiment by attempting to reproduce the conditions that brought about “the insight.”  I saw value in doing yoga here.  It made the seeking seem softer, and lighter.

          It was a sobering commentary by Ram Dass that broke me in the midst of my mad searching addiction.   He stated that chasing those kind of experiences leads to suffering and bondage.  They are only experiences, so keep moving on!   That’s when I finally faced that nothing would reproduce it, and then I let go.  And yoga was a big help.  By holding postures, my mind was forced to remain focused on something, so when I got distracted by “seeking,” this focus allowed more space and freedom.

          Shortly after that, another insight arose.  It was in savasana (corpse pose in yoga – just lying down), lying on my back, after doing an intense hour of yoga. I was practicing breathing, watching one point in the air go in and out of the body.  "Suddenly, I was floating on a boat,” and a subtle yet discernible rhythm became perceptible.  Like a giant heartbeat, it swept all of my awareness into it, and when I became too mental, it would fade away.

What did not fade away was a strange yearning in my chest - in my heart.  Has anyone ever yearned?  It was a non-specific yearn, and it often followed a period of intense activity or work.  Could it be that something was using this “yearn” or sensation as a signaling device?  A teacher of mine had eluded that the yearn was coming from “the source.”  Was it outside myself?  It felt very intimate, so I rested in the paradox of it.

I began to see that yoga helped dig out layers of experience, unquestioned conditioning, and suppressed emotions I could not process clearly during my formative years.  I often asked myself what this yearning was?  I was instructed to get curious about what is naturally curious in me.  To basically rest in the inquiry and question, rather than finding happiness in the answers.

            The experience ended, as all do, and I was left with one of those awestruck feelings that I was really onto something.  What I did not know before was that by seeking, seeking something outside of myself, outside of right now, I would forever remain in bondage.  As a teacher told me many years later, "we are like fish swimming in the ocean of spirit, thinking we are thirsty and looking for the very water we swim in."  Talk about a huge relief at that retreat!  at this point in my life with yoga and inquiry I began to.

SEEING EDGES

           I began to consciously seek "walking the edge."  Yoga was part of this, and inquiry was becoming a valuable tool.  Some favorite edges to explore were the edge of sleep and wakefulness, the edge of highs from herbs (any type) with sobriety, and the edge of life and death surfing waves that could crush my body and my surfboard.  Yoga helped me walk the edge of where comfort left and tension began, of where the breath became strained, and where mindfulness faded, into wherever my mind wanted to be - other than right here.

DIFFICULTIES AS OPPORTUNITIES

         Yoga became another way to explore this edge.  My best teachers challenged all of us to focus on the postures or breathing exercises that were the hardest, not the ones we could do easily.  I hated this!  But it did teach me about where I was strong and weak.  In holding postures, for minutes sometimes, offered a grounding point for my very active and anxious mind.  That grounding point was my body and its sensations.  These difficult postures became opportunities for balance and growth, as I was to find out many years later.

FACING FEARS AND SEEING WHAT IS TRUE

          After seeing these edges more clearly and lucidly, I began to try consciously facing situations that were difficult, without going asleep at the wheel of life.  Like going into silence for three to ten days at a time, alone or in retreat with others.  Layers of thought and feeling I thought I had “processed” came up during these times, like old father issues.  One was a lucid daydream where I was beating my father’s chest, upset about him never being there for me emotionally as a child.

         I began to see that all my stories held no truth at all.  They were just stories, like a movie.  And then I had a strange dream. It came nine years after beginning yoga, before a nervous breakdown, a broken engagement, and the loss of a health community I had spent years building with a few other people.  The dream was ending, my sleep was ending, and I was passing down a long corridor, like the inside of a living whale’s belly, and the belly spoke to me!  It seemed to say, though it came in the form of feeling, “Time to go back to sleep.”  This eroded any foundation in me about what reality actually was.  I thought I was waking up?  But this voice said the opposite.  It was yet another reminder to question everything, question even what I called “being awake.”

REMOVE IDENTIFICATION WITH DREAM

           Like a detective, I seem to explore anything in health, spirit, or life that does not make sense.  Continuing to get triggered by my own recycled thoughts and feelings seemed inefficient.  In Buddhism they talk about resistance and attachment cause things to stick, and remain in place.  “What we resist, persists.”  It feels counter-intuitive to jump right into uncomfortable feelings.   To actually feel them, to let them be, allowing some love to shine on them, like how a mother loves her child, is the only way I know of to release the resistance.  It definitely worked for me.  One teacher, many years later, talked about this process.  He called it identifying with one’s illusions.  I looked back at the feeling of “being identified” with a movie.  We all know those times where we are not in our bodies, when a movie is so good, we become so enamored with the movie that we “escape to the movies.”  But we always come back to our own body and awareness, don’t we?  The one constant is our own self as a reference point.  And yoga is a big help with this.

THE POINT OF YOGA

         Over the twenty years following the car accident in which I broke my neck, I explored many methods of self-help, counseling, diet, herbal medicine, yoga, and other techniques.  I discovered what many healers call, “the layers.”

          I write today, 16 days after another life threatening accident on a bicycle, and I see Life as initiating many of the things I had thought I was the one exploring.  Yoga has acted as a bridge between what is unconscious in me, and what is conscious.  Perhaps Life was just awareness, and yoga was a tool it used?  What I once thought of accidents, coincidences, or strange circumstances, became clear they may not have been.  I realized more recently that clarity on the level of attention and awareness is a pre-requisite for seeing deeper layers of consciousness.  And that is why sitting in silence, spending time alone, or whatever we choose to do or be in our down time, offers more clarity.  Deeper layers revealed themselves as I was able to “digest” them.  Deeper layers reveal themselves to be digested.

And finally, for me, this is the point of yoga, at least for me: to help me see more clearly the foggy areas that were not awake, like when we wake up in the morning feeling groggy and dull and are not super sharp.  Bringing my mind back to points of attention like the body, the breath, and sensations are like focus points, so as not to be caught up in the endless stream of diversions and distractions we all know about.  They are ok, let’s be clear about that, but for some of us, the desire is to go deeper, and see things that would normally be unavailable in “the leaf blown in the wind” consciousness.

Sadhana

          This word is used in India for yoga, and preparatory work before meditation.  Yoga is a prep for a relaxed body, an open mind and seeing more clearly.  The old Vedics, and the ones who developed yoga, are said to have made yoga not a thing in and of itself, but a way to navigate very very subtle levels of awareness.  This is why many schools of spirit in India say “one must have a guru.”  A guru is only a guide, in the best sense of the word.  He/she points at things we may not have seen.  As will a good yoga teacher.  They may challenge our assumptions about what we are doing or being.  Yoga can offer this also.  I found out a saying that fits this, “The Truth is self-evident.”  Direct experience is the best teacher.  No one can offer what we see for ourselves, and feel and taste, and explore.  The roots of the word yoga, mean “union.”  And seeing and feeling this through own experience offers something we may never get from being spoon-fed truths or by going to a seminar, or talking without  feeling and exploring what the words are pointing to.

 Easy for you to say!

         I once thought to myself, at my first yoga class, how easy it was for my teacher to say, “let go,” or “remain present,” or “don’t make things so complicated.”  Over twenty years later, I sit in a different chair, so to speak.  I see where she was pointing, and I acknowledge my own words will feel the same to those reading this.  If I could offer one thing in closure, it would be these exercises:

*When we feel out of sorts, overwhelmed, or stressed, it may be too late to ask for help or make grand attempts at being present or loving or to let go.  Use awareness like a lens, look wider and larger.  Look and feel.

*Life is a practice, so is yoga.  Remember the old cliché, “practice makes perfect?”  Just as a bricklayer must lay one brick at a time, so some of us must lay a foundation daily and as we remember to.

*Ask to remember to be present more.  Ask with authority of knowing it is already on its way.  And feel gratitude for something, even as small as the fact that you can feel anything.  Abundance builds on abundance, not on wishing something away, or clinging to things as they pass.

The Three P’s of Creating: Present, positive, personal

Always use present-tense statements about your life, positive ones like, “I am free of this ___________,” not “I cannot eat that or do this.”  Or “I wish I had $1000 next month.”  And finally, keep it personal, do not wish for something outside of your experience.

As we practice, my wish for you all is to see the point of yoga for yourselves.