Temporal Parasites

The Inner Mysteries: Contradiction, Paradox, Humor, and Divinity.

“Temporal Parasites”

As a prelude to my exposé on what I call “temporal parasites,” I have a confession to make; for most of my adult life, Star Trek, (the many versions on television), has been a consistent curiosity for me. I give due credit to the creators of that program for the root and basis of what I am about to explain.

Thought forms:

In the numerous and varied healing systems I have studied, there are many common themes. The connection between the world of thought, emotion, awareness, and physicality is one of them. My life’s passion has been to discover and “master” those connections and then act as a guide for others.

An initial insight I had was that thoughts were like clouds; one could see them arising, watch them passing and witness them fading. I began to experience thoughts as forms- forms that are less dense than the world we’re use to and constantly in flux.

Based on this premise, I began to ask myself, “wouldn’t it be a serious error to identify one’s self with those thoughts?” I used to chide myself about my "evil" fantasies and urges, but after years of seeing for myself the fluctuating clouds of thoughts, I knew those thoughts were no more “me” than the house next door. But herein was the catch: thought forms can have an existence of their own.

They want to live and continue as they are. We tend to get snagged on emotions, urges, fantasies, and worse, identification, so the thoughts can remain. I noticed that this identification always drains us in some subtle and not so-subtle ways. This was a lesson I learned many years into my commitment to self-study.

Viruses and other microbes:

I love the new-age scientific names for simple things. The emerging field of psycho-neuro-immunology is case in point. The term refers to the connections between thought, feeling, and the physical. One of its premises is that when we drain one system, the rest suffers. For example, if we constantly berate ourselves and judge ourselves too harshly, we feel drained physically. When we drain ourselves physically, the stage is set for opportunistic microbes. These microbes do not like a healthy strong system.

The plant kingdom demonstrates this tenet of psycho-neuro-immunology repeatedly: A plant that has healthy soil and seeds, good sun and water, is very rarely diseased. But as every gardener knows, throw off one of those factors, and the organism will begin a decomposition process. It is nature’s way. To survive, the system must digest the waste, the old and the decaying.

That is one of the jobs of fungi: they digest decaying matter.

This may also be true of viruses. If our body can recognize them, it mounts a tagging campaign for destruction. A weak system cannot complete the job and thus these invading life forms get a foothold. Likewise, is another life form that gets a cemented foothold in consciousness; the ego.

I heard on an audio book by Eckhart Tolle, (A New Earth), that there is an aspect of ego that can be likened to a "psychic parasite." I wondered at the time if these "leaky faucets" of energy I had experienced so many times over the years were due to this "parasite" feeding on fear or other unpreferred feeling?

On the physical level, the definition of a parasite is, “ anything that feeds on its host." Parasites cannot survive, and some cannot replicate, without a host cell or tissue. That means Candida, other fungi, viruses, and other microbes can become parasitic given a weak host, including the worm ones we’re all familiar with. Could it be that the ego, or any self-impairing thought form, is an entity that feeds on a host? What might that host be? I pondered this long and hard, for many years.

Insight came one evening in a flash. It was “Awareness”. That simple. Of course, when we put a word to something wordless, we diminish it, but this was the closest word in the English language.

Awareness is like a pure white light shining through the filter of what one calls, "me." The ego is not evil, nor a problem yet we do experience internal conflicts when the ego rides on the light of awareness and creates stories around it. It is usually a simple misunderstanding of the nature of awareness, consciousness, and the ego. The ego latches on like a parasite to an aspect of awareness and feeds off of it, in a sense. An aspect of what we call consciousness looks at that situation and inquires into its nature. Consciousness is naturally curious. Watch a young child who has not been conditioned yet. He/she is naturally curious about EVERYTHING. Right?

Along these lines, a few years earlier, I had an insight about digestion of experiences. I was reading about the connection between emotional states, acupuncture meridians, and the connection with the Five Elements in that system. I was reminded that Earth is the element of digestion and harvest. Distilled into its essence, it stands as the completion of a cycle. If our own process does not proceed smoothly, we get indigestion. This is what happens inadvertently, in most of us, on the subtle levels.

To aid us in “un-constipating” our energy systems, an advisor is often necessary. While many of us may scoff at the "gurus" and spiritual practices of India, having guidance on one’s journey can be very helpful.

When we have chronic emotional indigestion, we get stuck and cannot finish the cycle, so to speak. This also weakens our natural defenses against disease, affecting us on the subtle levels first. We all know what “dis-ease” feels like.

Many years ago I read a few lines in a course manual from East -West Herbal Course that read: "Toxins are desires." I sensed how profound those three words were, and spent years pondering and investigating.

The strongest insight came as I was writing a 30-page chapter on digestive ecology. I was intensively studying the inner ecology of the gut when the old quote suddenly made complete sense. "Of course”, I said to myself, “when we are toxic, this is from layers of mucus and fermenting waste feeding really nasty microbes in the gut." These microbes, like Candida, can become overgrown in the gut wall and can cause cravings of their own. When they aren’t fed, they may get unhappy and excrete toxic substances that further irritate the gut wall. They desire something: i.e. more carbohydrates, more sugar.

At the time of this realization I was a sugar junky, or should I say, they were the junkies and I was a co-dependent “victim?” To parallel this on a larger level, I was a victim of identifying with the stories about my life.

The pure light of awareness must separate into its prism: the world. But to identify with the manifestations of the world, resist them, or get attached to them (like a parasite) can invite trouble. The trouble is that thought-forms, spirits, and other unknowns are part of this “prism.” How do we distinguish what is real?

We become our own worst enemy.

We all have had times in life where we could not believe what we had just done. Could it be that we have become “possessed” on some subtle level? Possessed by our own delusions? Identified with our own conditioning and programming, given to us at an age so young we could not choose it. It was forced upon us, albeit, with good intentions. When conditioning operates unconsciously in us, we tend to do unskillful things.

After years of investigating the subtle aspects to consciousness, and becoming extremely still, complete surrendering, I began to see life is already free. And many, many breadcrumbs are left by those who also saw these things. Men like Jesus the Christ, Buddha, and too many to mention. The evidence became overwhelming, the more I looked. And knowing so many saw this, brought great peace.

Conversely, when we feel unease, we have the beginning warning signals. Something is off. Our bodies are wonderful meters of when we are flowing with life, or “missing the mark” (sin really means this).

Many of us are so identified with our minds that we fail to trust our body, our being, and we lose a valuable tool. We no longer navigate within the flow of our lives. However, “resistance is futile.”

Like I said earlier, all life struggles to maintain itself. Why shouldn’t the ego, the illusion of separation also struggle to maintain itself? If the ego lets go, it seems to lose its job as guardian and protector. What exactly is it protecting anyway? Once this is seen through, identification ceases and more energy is freed up. The host no longer supports the parasite, the mistaken identification with this world. This is not philosophy. This is go-see-for-yourself stuff. Reality.

The Body Revisited

Viral growth can manifest so many different ways, they’re hard to pinpoint. Some call them “ghosts” as they have no life outside of another cells DNA. I find it interesting to call them ghosts.

Perhaps our own habitual ways of operating and thinking are actually draining us? I found the only way out of the trap of identification with form, any form, was to let it all be. Anything that arose for me was ok and still is. And many many tests of sorts came.

Through years of purging and continuing on the endless road of higher health, I have seen these strange connections between the subtle worlds and the physical. Some say the reptiles are a physical manifestation of astral beings from Sirius, I believe, that they are here, observing and participating. But not in ways most people think. I had a suprising initiation experience with one such being…….

Reptiles and Gateway Guardians

Road-signs of Life: The Snake Test

3/20/96

Age 31

Highway rest stop – near Redding CA

I was tested. I have just returned from a Field of cottonwood trees, meditating in Savasana, after a short yoga practice. I loved to use the Dan Millman video about Peaceful Warrior. The feeling of "Peaceful Warrior" really rang true in my chest. But that is not the story I am here to tell.

I had been driving for a few hours, south on route 5 from Eugene, Oregon. I had just completed a winter’s sabbatical, writing a cookbook based on my Macrobiotic studies. The sabbatical was necessary, as I had come close to having a "nervous breakdown." The previous year had seen the loss of a fiancé, opening of a restaurant,

and finishing a B.S. degree in Nutrition. In addition, I was preparing my own meals, working 30 hours a week to support myself, and continuing a daily yoga/meditation practice. I almost exploded from the pressure.

However, after the four-month break, I felt recharged and ready to begin the next chapter of my life.

As I often did on long drives, I stopped every few hours to stretch my body and rest my mind in meditation. When I drove too long, I would notice white trailers in my field of vision, trance drowsiness, and achy muscles. I had driven through the mountains, and spotted this beautiful rest stop. The rest stop itself was too busy, with car noises, kids playing, and nowhere to practice yoga without making a scene.

I scanned the area, and noticed a short fence with an unknown area behind it that looked uninhabited. I liked the mystery of the situation. I grabbed my yoga mat, a blanket for the ground, a towel, and hopped the fence. As I walked, following a mindless pull, like a magnet, to a spot that felt "nurturing." Sounds of birds soothed my ears and nerves. I walked in the spring grasses, and up a little hill. As I reached the top, a luscious pond glistened below, with a calm, serene energy. The cottonwood trees spoke of changing times and sharing the afternoon sun.

I walked down the grassy hill, and found a dirt area where I laid down my mat and blanket and did a short yoga practice. As I finished, the sense of well being was profound. The highway sounds were gone, with only the wind, trees and birdsong as company, or so I thought.

I lay down on my back, and began to relax in savasana, otherwise known as corpse pose. I felt my body being pulled by gravity. The heaviness was a nice contrast to the airy thoughts of driving. I immediately went into a deep daydream/trance state. I was tired. I told myself to rest as long as my body needed. The dreams were pleasant and distracting.

Suddenly, a strange sound appeared in my awareness. Time was an unknown. I was still half-dreaming, and it manifested in my dream pictures as an Indian rattling a shaker. The rattling sound got louder. Something in me sounded an alarm. I felt danger and awoke. The sound was definitely a rattle. I knew the sound, but could not place it specifically. I inquired and did not like the answer I received. I knew it was a rattlesnake. I did not have to look. It was close, and the rattle was getting louder next to the top of my head.

I must have perked some curiosity in the creature or invaded its territory. I gingerly began to turn to get up into a phoenix like position on my belly, supported by my lower arms. I was frightened to see this danger, but I sensed if I did not, even greater danger would result.

My head turned and I saw the beast, only three feet from the top of my blanket. I was easily within striking distance and it was upright, coiled, and looking right at me, flicking its tongue. It was the first rattlesnake I had encountered in the wild. I felt a surge of fear, and a strong desire to get up and run. But I knew I could not move: it had me.

I began to receive "instructions" on how to act from this point. I was not thinking, only feeling intuitions from my "spirit guides." I was told to ground my energy into the earth. I honored the snake for appearing. I suddenly knew I was brought here to face this fear, the fear of being vulnerable and hopeless. Another insight arose that the snake did not necessarily mean me any harm but rather it was a conduit of reptilian energy or spirit.

I inquired as to why it had appeared as we continued eye contact. Waves of fear arose and fell like static noise, disrupting the inquiry. A brief window of silence allowed an answer to appear. "You are being tested. Reptiles guard a gate to another realm. Are you ready to move through?" I felt I was. I noticed the snake appeared less agitated with my feeling based answer. I kept opening and accepting my plight. My body was in a very vulnerable position. I had gone against rational judgment into this field and near this lake. I was on private property. Yet, an impulse had led me to this "power spot." I refused to doubt that force.

I was "told" to sit still and just meditate with the snake. So we faced off and neither of us moved for many minutes. We stared deeply into each other’s eyes. I felt a merging, an opening, and the dissolving of boundaries. Finally, the snake appeared solid again. An inner signal of, "you passed the test" came into my consciousness and then the snake gracefully and slowly turned and undulated away towards some sagebrush on the hill.

I do not know what all transpired, but it was to be one of many initiations into my becoming a healer. I realized at the time that these rites of passage, challenges, or “tests” into adulthood were sorely missing from our modern educational systems.

I walked mindfully back to my car, back to the safe and convenience of the modern world, yet something never left me after that day. It kept unfolding, slowly like a steamroller, crushing all in its path. All my illusions were beginning to be challenged.

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Spirit’s Curiosity With Form:

The path of the mystic is a loaded gun. The farther in one seems to go, the more risk of identification and suffering and the higher the highs, the lower the lows. Emotions and feelings once thought of as harmless can become toxic and draining as one seemingly proceeds on a path of evolution. I wrote a journal entry speaking to this, many years ago, from an inkling I had while sitting quietly.

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Coming Home (another entry)

Lately I have realized the journey (or depth) into the labyrinth we call "the world" is not as easy as I thought. All my life, I have tried to remain present in the face of suffering (myself and others). I learned through my studies of Spanish that the word for “gift” is “regalo” (similar to regal). In English we also use the word “present” to mean gift. To be present is to give a gift to oneself or those we are present with.

When I was a child, I would look into the eyes of someone who was suffering and I would feel what they felt. I would become lost in their dream then avert further gaze, contract and turn inward and then return home to my own presence. It felt like a failure. It felt like I was a leaf blowing in the wind, swirling, out of control, lost in other’s separation and lost in my feelings about it.

At the time I was far from seeing that they are versions of myself, mirroring my own suffering, my own anger, sadness, depression, or fear. I now notice when this happens that my feet are not grounded, my awareness is in my head, and my breathing shallow and fast. The mantra for me now is, "where are my feet, and how does my chest, belly, and heart feel? Am I open to what is occurring?"

I have used an analogy called "coming home." I venture out into the world, into identification with the illusion, and then return to oneness, to me, to the Self.

I have discovered the ego wants everything quickly. It wants the fruit of the journey. However, the spirit enjoys the experience…the journey. Indeed they partner up quite frequently, but not always.

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I more often than not feel the unconditional love of spirit for all things, like a mother’s love for her children. What feels better than a hug from Mom when we are down?

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Fasting, Cleansing and Will:

Methods have been handed down from those who have walked this planet (and maybe others?). One teacher calls them “breadcrumbs.” A trail of breadcrumbs to lead us home on a long journey through life. But exactly what is home? And what are these thought forms that seem to trip us up? They are even depicted on Tibetan scrolls, some very wrathful and ugly. Some beautific.

Investigation is something I feel is missing in today’s world. Investigating what others tell us, or what we read. That is exactly what the great yogic and spiritual teachings are: pointers to something subtle. The words are meaningless. Our experience of what they are pointing to is much different than thinking about them. When we are thirsty only water will do, not a thought about it, or a picture, right?

I read about the ascetic practices of the yogis: fasting, breathing techniques, focused meditations, concentration, postures held through various mental complaints, etc. I also investigated what the great health masters have called cleansing and fasting. It takes will power to overcome our conditioned patterns. I ask, “What better and safer thing is there to do than to challenge our mind, our bodies, and our limitations? How will we ever know our limits if we do not push ourselves to them”?

Yogananda, a great Hindu sage, liked to say, “the greater the will, the greater the flow of energy.” And I have found this to be a sound pointer. There is a deep satisfaction (Santosha in Sanskrit) by overcoming our limitations by pushing ourselves and succeeding. But what is feeling the satisfaction? Who is this “I” we call ourselves?

Perhaps it is the ego’s job to be a navigator for consciousness? The Big “I.”

Possession and Degrees of Separation:

I used to feel separate, even in large crowds, or even with people close to me. I often felt like an iceberg, cold and detached. One day, I saw what this was, quite by accident.

I was walking to class in a large outdoor grass area at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo. It was one of those spring days where everything seems alive. Even the air seemed to be singing in praise of the sun and perfect temperatures. It was a time in my life when I felt separated from most people. Yet, in sitting quietly (meditation) daily, I had begun to see that thoughts, feelings, and even emotions came and went, like clouds in the sky. So these feelings of separation from others were not controlling my world.

As I looked up into the sky, on an impulse, a strong feeling arose of being “watched.” I looked down, into the smooth face of a female passerby. She smiled and looked right into my eyes. Like she was seeing something. I walked past her, and it happened again with three other people. I was not trying to attract attention. As a matter of fact, I was painfully shy at the time. A little wind blew, and a strange voice resonated in my brain. It seemed to say, “He sees, but does not understand.” That feeling of being watched came again, but this time from inside my eyes, almost behind my eyes. It felt as if the whole universe was looking out through my eyes.

This felt healthy. It felt euphoric. Love was present in it. But it only lasted a few hours, then back to what my teacher calls “garden variety” consciousness.

I was later to learn that addictions to sublime states and the fervent seeking of expanded states of consciousness can be a trap; a trap of always seeking something outside of this moment, the true reality.

The opposite of the identification of the universal consciousness would be the identification with a form. These are limited and often parasitic life forms of all sorts. This is true only if we give it the power. We must voluntarily give it out.

This is where the ego thrives. The ego is really just a verb. It is an aspect of ourselves that is always in action. Have you noticed? It thinks, it moves, it strategizes, it solves problems, and it knows which mouth to feed when there is hunger. Wouldn’t it be funny if you got thirsty, and gave water to your best friend, mistakenly thinking he/she was the one needing it when you actually were? That would be a defect in the ego, and it happens.

Mistaken identity:

The most challenging aspect of this as a teacher in health would be encountering a person who is “possessed.” This is somewhat rare in its worst. But degrees of it show up in a lot of us. We are so identified with the tool, the ego, that we lose track of what is running the show, consciousness (or awareness, or spirit). The Gospels talk of The Son of God and The Son of Man. And to round out the Holy Trinity, we have The Holy Ghost. What were these old saints, mystics, and sages pointing to? Are these more “breadcrumbs” left from the ancient past? If they are indeed leading us, what are they leading to? Is there a connection with ego and viruses?

Very few are possessed like we see in the movies (like the evil Damien possessed by the “devil”). An old Hindu sage, Yogananda, liked to say, “People are so skilled in their illusions.” Our inner processes know how we work better than our conscious mind at times. We can become “possessed” by urges, fantasies, impulses and act on them if we lose our connection to what is true. And Eckhart Tolle states in A New Earth, that some crimes might be dismissed or forgiven if the person acts from a place of being possessed. How to prove?

I feel we all have to take responsibility for our actions, even if we felt we were “not ourselves” during the act. We still made the choice on some level to act or not act. From where is this choice made?

Ultimately, what the ego wants is to be happy and do good. But all the fog must be cleared away somehow. And the ego can help or hinder the process. Most egos are “leaving claw marks on the ground while being dragged into the infinite.” Just as a caterpillar changes into a butterfly, so we evolve into something we do not quite understand. Do we all share a common thread as human beings in this?

We all share common stories, thinking we are the only ones busy, suffering, or whatever story we believe. The truth is, as I have seen through thousands of clients and spiritual gatherings, we all must walk right through our pain, our broken hearts, and our stories about life. Part of us leaves this world when we suffer. Some of us use substances to disassociate from the pain. We try and resist, mistakenly thinking that resistance is going to get us to joy. There is a great Buddhist aphorism, “We come to Nirvana by way of samsara.” We come to joy and satisfaction by going right into our pain, not around, not bypassed.

Perhaps this is the great secret about all this. Life is already and always whole. Health is relative. Everything has a place, or it would not exist, right? That is the great mystery, from where did we come before brith, and where do we go after death? This knowing is available, viruses know it, and Life knows it, and we do too. We just forget. And we get faulty programming.

“May the force be with you.” (Star Wars movie) Perhaps exploring things like this bring greater satisfaction than putting our chips in accumulation and “getting ahead” according to what those in control tell us.

Perhaps things are not what they seem. I have found that sticking with what I know to be true is a skillful practice. There are many things I know for sure.

The body is a vehicle of some sort is one of those knowings. The only real solution is to keep it in as good a shape as we can, and don’t sweat the stuff we cannot control, like whether or not viruses are out to get us. The worry about what might happen drains us more than just letting go.

Some tools:

I have found some tools handed down for thousands of years to be helpful with maintaining our vehicle and seeing life more clearly. The purpose of the many paths of yoga is just this. One could argue that the purpose of meditation, breathing exercises, and eating more wholesomely is this.

For clarity:

*Eat only vegetables (especially raw) during warm weather for an entire day. If you feel weak, then add some raw egg yolk blended into some water or put on your veggies as part of a simple dressing. That might be 2 egg yolks, 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar, 2 tbsp hemp seed or flax oil, ¼ tsp Celtic sea salt, and a little Italian seasoning. One could also use whey protein or ground flax meal 2 tbsp put on your veggies.

*Dry skin brush your entire body in the morning upon waking

*Do the Breath of Fire technique

*Do some stretching every day, even if only five minutes before bed or in the morning. Commit to this.

*Try this link for Energizing exercises with conscious breathing

For more concentration:

*Begin by using an object to focus on for short periods of time. I began by observing a candle flame for five minutes, then increasing the time. The mind always wanders so the method is to keep bringing it back to the object of focus, gently, like a child, no scolding ourselves allowed!

*As one improves in this, stay mindful of how your body moves throughout the day. Keep your mind in your body, in your senses, as you do exercise, work, garden or do yoga. Notice how the mind wanders. Bring it back gently.

*As this improves, ask for help in staying in your senses throughout your day, pick time periods to “check-in” with your breathing, your body.

Nutrition help:

Certain herbs are very good in this process. Gotu kola is excellent. Rosemary, ginkgo, calamus root, eggs, cardamom seeds, low simple sugar diets, no caffeine, and simple smaller meals go a long ways to supporting our consciousness and its link into the mind.

I hope this essay helps those who really sincerely want to “wake from the dream” of separation. Health can support or take away from our lives. Parasites only feed on a weak host and weak cells/tissues. This holds true for the ego and all subtle beings that live beyond most people’s perception. But they exist nevertheless. Ask for help, and it will come. “Ask and you shall receive.” But be ready to be surprised by what shows up!

Immune cells have a common root with many other cells in the body

In loving service,

Craig Lane